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A Conversation for Cockney Rhyming Slang Below is all I can think of, it's been a while since I've needed to use it, so some may be slightly off. Enjoy. Actors Max Factors. Example: "The Max Factors are on stage" All dayer (all day drinking session) Leo Sayer All dayer (all day drinking) Gary Player All nighter Jet Fighter. Example: "We're going on a Jet Fighter" Alone Pat Malone Alone Jack Jones. Example: "I've bin sat 'ere all on me Jack Jones" Alone Todd Sloan Appendix Jimi Hendrix. Example: "I just 'ad mi Jimmi Hendrix taken out" Aris (arse) April in Paris. Example: "I'll kick your April." Arm Chalk Farm Army Daft and Barmy Army Kate Carney Arse Khyber Pass Arse Bottle and Glass Arse Hagen Daas Arse (derivation: Aris = Aristotle = Bottle = Bottle and Glass = Arse) Aris. Example: "Stick it up yer aris" Arse: derived from aristotle (bottle) meaning bum (bottle of rum) Aris. Example: "Up yer aris!" Arsehole Jam Roll Arsehole Elephant and Castle Aunt Mrs Chant Baboon Geoff Hoon. Example: "You're a right Geoff Hoon you are" Baby Basin of Gravy Back Jumping Jack Back Union Jack Back Hammer and Tack Back Cadbury's Snack Back Cilla Black. Example: "Gawd, me Cilla's playing up again!" Back Hay Stack Back Roof Rack Back Fleetwood Mac Bad Shepherd's Plaid Bad Sorry and Sad Badger Dennis and Gnasher. Example: "Oh fiddlesticks! I just ran over a dennis!!" Balls Town Halls Balls Cobbler's Awls. Example: "That's a load of cobblers, for a start!" Balls Niagara Falls. Example: "I got booted in the Niagaras" Balls (testicles) Orchestra Stalls Balls (testicles) Niagara Falls Balti Basil Fawlty Banana Gertie Gitana Banger Bernard Langher. Example: "Lovely plate of Bernard Langhers" Bank Pedal and Crank. Example: "I'm going to the Pedal Crank" Bank Fish tank Bank Tin Tank Bank Iron Tank Bank Cab Rank Bank Tommy Tank Bar - pub Bazaar Bar (pub) Near and Far Bar (pub) Jack Tar Barrow Cock Sparrow Barrow Bow and Arrow Bass Beggar Boy's Ass Bath Laugh Battery Charm and Flattery. Example: "Yer charm's gone flat, mate!" Battery Tony Slattery Beak (magistrate) Bubble and Squeak Beard Strange'N'Weird Beaver Sigourney Weaver Bed Scratch Yer Head Bed Uncle Ned Bed Skein of Thread Bed Born and Bred Bed Uncle Ted Beef Stop Thief Beef Itchy Teeth Beer Pig's Ear Beers Britney Spears. Example: "Let's go fer a few Britneys" Beginner Lilley and Skinner Belch Raquel Welch Believe Adam and Eve. Example: "Would you Adam and Eve it?" Believe Christmas Eve Bell Hair Gel Belly New Delhi Belly Darby Kelly Belly Auntie Nellie Belly Derby Kelly Bench Judy Dench. Example: "Emile Hesky should stay on the Judy" Bender (homosexual) Leo Fender Bent Clark Kent. Example: "He's a bit Clarke Kent" Bent 50 Cent. Example: "No he don't fancy you, he's 50 Cent!" Bent (criminal) Stoke On Trent Bent (gay) Stoke On Trent Best Mae West Bet House To Let Beut John Deut. Example: "Wot a John Duet" Beverage Edna Everage Bevvy (drink) Don Revie. Example: "Are we going for a couple of Don Revies tonight" Big 'un Barry McGuigan Biggun Barry McGuigan. Example: "Don't give it the Barry McQuigan" Bigot Lester Piggot Bike Clever Mike Bike. Alibi Ike was a movie star. Alibi Ike Bill (statement) Jack and Jill Bill (statement) Beecham's Pill Bill (statement) Jimmy Hill Bint Polo Mint Bird Shaken Not Stirred. Example: "Have a butchers at that shaken not stirred" Bird Richard the Third Bird (Lime) Prison Time. Example: "'Es gawn down, doin' bird" Bit of a state Harry Tate in a ~ Bitches Ronald Riches Bitchy Lionel Richie. Example: "She's acting all lionel richie!!" Bitter Laugh and Titter Bitter (beer) Giggle and Titter Bitter (beer) Gary Glitter Bitter (beer) Apple Fritter. Example: "Pint of apple fritter darlin'." Blazer Razor Bloke Heap of Coke Blood Roy Hudd. Example: "That'll stop the Toy Hudd for a while" Blotto (drunk) Santa's Grotto Blower (phone) Lawn mower Boat Nanny Goat Bob (shilling) Touch Me On the Knob Bog Cat and Dog Bog Kermit the Frog. Example: "In the kermit, on the dog." Boil Conan Doyle Boil Can of Oil B******s Flowers and Frolics B******s Jackson Pollocks Bomb Derry and Tom Bong Ding Dong. Example: "Give us a puff of the ding dong" Book Joe Hook Book Fish Hook Book Caption Cook Bookie Biscuit and Cookie Bookies Cream Cookies Boots Daisy Roots Booze River Ouse Booze Penelope Cruz Booze Tom Cruise. Example: "Got any tom cruise?" Boozer Perpetual (Loser). Example: "Oh gawd 'e's a right perpetual loser" Boozer All Time Loser Boozer (pub) Battle Cruiser. Example: "Let's go dahn the battle cruiser" Boss Pitch and Toss Bottle Aristotle Bottle Jerry Cottle Bowler Bottle of Cola Box Darky Cox Boy Rob Roy Boy San Toy Bra Tung Chee Hwa Bra Master Mcgrath Brace and Bit Shit Braces Airs and Graces Brains Down the Drains Brandy Jack the Dandy Brandy Fine and Dandy Brandy Mahatma Ghandi. Example: "Mahatma and coke please" Brass [old Cockney for a prostitute] Beggar boy's arse. Example: "She's a bit brassy" Bread Uncle Fred Bread and dripping Doctor Crippen Breast East and West Breasts Georgie Bests Breath King Death Brogues (shoes) Kylie Minogues. Example: "Nice pair of Kylie Minogues you got there!" Broke Coals and Coke Broke (financial) Hearts of Oak Brokers Engineers and Stokers Brother One and t'Other Brother Manhole Cover Brussells (sprouts) Cockle and Mussells Bucket Mrs Duckett Bum Kingdom Come Bum Fife and Drum Bum Deaf and Dumb Bum Queen Mum Bunk (bed) Pineapple Chunk Burger King Itchy Ring. Example: "I right fancy an Itchy Ring" Burp Wyatt Earp. Example: "Gawd, Didn't I let this great big Wyatt out" Burst (urinate) Geoff Hurst Bust Princes Trust. Example: "Look at the Prince's on her" Butter Stammer and Stutter Butter Talk and Mutter Butter Johnnie Rutter Butter Pull Down the Shutter Butter Mutter and Stutter C**t Berkshire Hunt. Example: "You stupid berk!" C**t Struggle and Grunt. Example: "You're old struggle and grunt intcha" C**t James Hunt. Example: "Don't be a James Hunt" C**t Mike Hunt. Example: "He is a total Mike Hunt" Cab Smash and Grab. Example: "I'm off down the pub, I'll get a smash home" Cab (taxi) Left Jab Cab (taxi) Andy McNab. Example: "I'm goin gettig an Andy McNab home" Cab (taxi) Sherbet Dab Cadge Coat and Badge Cafe Colonel Gadaffi Cake Sexton Blake Cake Joe Blake. Example: "Want some Joe Blake mate?" Cancel Nigel Mansell. Example: "Got to Nigel Mansell my subscription" Cancer Sunny Dancer. Example: "Wot's wrong with him? 'Es got sunny dancer innee?" Candle Saucepan Handle Candle Harry Randall Cans (headphones) Desperate Dans Car Jam Jar Car Kareem Abdul Jabbar Car La-Di-Dah Car Near and Far Car YoYo Ma. Example: "Have a butcher's at me new yoyo !" Car (flash one) Danny Marr Card Bladder of Lard Carling Roger Starling Cash Sausage and Mash Cash Arthur Ashe Cash Crosby, Stills, Nash Cash Dot and Dash Cash Bangers and Mash Cash Oscar Asche Cat Cooking Fat. Example: "Don't tease the cooking fat !" Cat This and That Cat Postman Pat Catch ya later Kat Slater Cell (prison) Flowery Dell Chair Lion's Lair Chair Fred Astaire. Example: "Chuck us over a Fred Astaire" Chairs Owen Nares Chalk Duke of York Chancer (someone not qualified) Bengal Lancer Change Rifle Range Chapel Pineapple Charlie (cocaine) Gianluca Vialli Charlie (cocaine) Boutrous Boutrous Gali Chassis Shirley Bassey Chat Chew the fat Chat Frank and Pat. Example: "It was nice having this Frank and Pat" Chat Top Hat Chat Natter Cheek Once A Week Cheese John Cleese Cheese Bended Knees Cheese Stand At Ease Cheque Nervous Wreck Cheque Gregory Peck Cheque Goose's Neck Chest Bird's Nest Chest George Best Chest Pants and Vest Chest (tits) Bristol and West. Example: "Cor look at 'er Bristols (note: this is a new definition, we're well aware of the traditional)" Child (kid) God Forbid Chilly Uncle Billy Chin Harry Lin Chink (Chinese meal) Tiddly Wink. Example: "Fancy a tiddly wink later?" Chink (Chinese person) Kitchen Sink. Example: "Yeah - he's a kitchen sink" Chink (Chinese) Rink-A-Dink Chips Jockey's Whips Chips Jockies' Whips. Example: "Let's get a bag of jockies" Chuckle Belt buckle. Example: "You're 'avin a belt buckle!" Church Left in the Lurch Cider Deep Sea Glider Cider Easy Rider Cider Sean Ryder. Example: "I'll 'ave a pint of Sean Ryder" Cider Winona Ryder Cigar Lar-Dee-Dar Cigar La-Di-Da Cigarette (fag) Oily Rag. Example: "Got any oily rags?" Clanger (mistake) Coat Hanger Class Bottle and Glass Clink (jail) Kitchen Sink Clock Dickory Dock Clock Tick-Tock Clue Pot of Glue Clue Scooby Doo. Example: "'aven't got the foggiest Scooby Doo matey" Clue Scooby Doo. Example: "You haven't got a Scooby Doo" Clue Danny La Rue. Example: "You ain't got a Danny La Rue mate" Coach Cockroach Coat Nanny Goat Coat Quaker Oat Coat Weasel and Stoat. Example: "Cor it's taters, I must get me weasel!" Cockney Rhyming Slang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Coffee Sticky Toffee Coffee Everton Toffee. Example: "Let's have an Everton" Cold Stevey Bould Cold Taters in the Mould Cold Boris The Bold Cold Cheltenham Bold Cold Potatoes in the Mould. Example: "Blimey it's taters!" Cold (derived from Potatoes in the Mould) Spuds. Example: "It's spuds tonight!" Cold (potatoes in the mould) Taters Collar Holler Boys Holler Come Rattle and Hum Computer Pistol and Shooter Computer Car and Scooter. Example: "Turn that car and scooter off" Cook Rubber Duck C**n Silvery spoon Cop (policeman) John Hop Copper Bottle and Stopper Copper (policeman) Grasshopper Coppers (police) Bottles and Stoppers Cops Cozzer's Cops Gathers Cork Duke of York Corner Johnny Horner Couch Kangaroo Pouch. Example: "Help me move my kangaroo." Cough Vincent van Gogh Cough Darren Gough Crabs Sandy McNabs. Example: "I've got the old Sandy McNabs" Crabs Andy McNabs. Example: "Don't take 'er 'ome - you'll get a right case of the Andy's" Crap Pony and Trap Crap Watford Gap Crap Von Trappe Crap Macca Crash Sausage and Mash Crash Pie and Mash. Example: "Just had a pie and mash in me car" Crime Lemon and Lime Crime Lemon Lime Cripple Raspberry Ripple Crook Babbling Brook Crook Joe Rook Crust You Must Cry Pipe Your Eye Crystal Palace Screaming Alice C**t Jo Blunt Cupboard Mother Hubbard Curry Shit in a Hurry. Example: "Let's go and have a shit in a hurry" Curry Bill Murray Curry Ruby Murray Curtains Richard Burtons Cycle George Michael. Example: "I'm George Michaeling to work today" Daft Fore and Aft Dance Jack Palance Dark Jurassic Park Darlin' Briney Marlin Daughter Bricks and Mortar Daughter Bottle of Porter Dead Father Ted Dead Brown Bread Dead (from Brown Bread = Dead) Hovis. Example: "He's Hovis mate, Brown Bread" Deaf Mutt and Jeff Deaf (see mutt and jeff) Mutton DEAL Jellied Eel. Example: "I'll give ya a great jelly on it" Devil Henry Neville. Example: "What the Henry Neville is going on ?" Dice Rats and Mice Dick Lolly Lick. Example: "I've got a big lolly" Dick (penis) Three Card Trick Diet Brixton Riot. Example: "No chocolate for me - spoils me Brixton." Dinner Jim Skinner Dinner Lilley and Skinner Dinner Frank Skinner. Example: "What did you have for yer Frank Skinner?" Dinner John Skinner Dirty Two-Thirty Do so Robinson Crusoe Do the off Apple Toff Doddle (easy or straight forward) Glenn Hoddle Doesn't like Americans (from antiseptic -> anti-Septic Tank) Listerine. Example: "Can't stand George Bush and I'm a Listerine too" Dog Cherry Hogg Dole De La Soul Dole George Cole Dole (Welfare) Jam Roll. Example: "Im on the jam roll" Dole (welfare) Nat King Cole Dole (welfare) Rock and Roll. Example: "Lost me job, now I'm back on the rock'n'roll" Dole (welfare) Sausage Roll Dollar Oxford Scholar Door Rory O'More Door Rory O'Moore. Example: "Close the bleedin' Rory!" Door Roger Moore. Example: "Shut that bleedin' Roger Moore" Door Henry Moore Dope Bob Hope Dose Half A Gross Double Barney Rubble. Example: "Playing pool" Dough (money) Russell Crowe. Example: "I've got no Russell Crowe" Dozen Country Cousin Draught (Draft) George Raft Draw (cannabis) Jack Straw Draw (cannabis) Jack McGraw. Example: "Do you were I can get some Jack McGraw" Drawers (pair of) Early Doors Drink Salvador Dali Drink Tumble Down the Sink Drink Tiddly Wink Drink (Beveridge) Dame Edna Everidge. Example: "Me and the lads are off down the Rat and Parrot for a few Dame Edna's" Drive Bee Hive. Example: "Last night she bee'd through the pleasure and pain." Drugs Fur rugs. Example: "You got any fur rugs?" Drugs Kisses and Hugs. Example: "I'm going to score some kisses and hugs" Drunk Elephant's Trunk. Example: "I'm going to get elephant's" Drunk Elephant's Trunk Dump Foot Pump Dump Forest Gump. Example: "I'm dying for a Forest." Dump (shit) Donald Trump Dump (shit) Forrest Gump Dump (shit) Camel's Hump Dumps Gravy Lumps Dyke Mountain Bike. Example: "These two look like a couple of mountain bikes" dyke Rusty Spike. Example: "She's an ol' rusty!" Dyke (lesbian) Three Wheel Trike Dyke (lesbian) Magnus Pike E (Ecstacy) Bumble Bee Eager Christian Ziege. Example: "'He's a bit Christian'" Ear King Lear Earner Bunsen Burner. Example: "Nice little Bunsen Burner" Ears Ten Speed Gears Ears Britney Spears. Example: "What's wrong wiv yer Britney's luv" Ears Lords and Peers Easy Bright and Breezy Easy Ham and Cheesy Easy Lemon Squeesy Egg Clothes Peg Egg Scotch Peg Elbow Spanish Archer Email British Rail Engineer German Beer Engineer Ginger Beer Enough French Egg (en ouef). Example: "I've had a french egg" Epsom races Airs and Graces Evens (betting) Major Stevens Exam Green Eggs and Ham Eyes Mince Pies Face Boat Race. Example: "Shut yer bloomin' boat!" Face Drum and Bass Face Chevy Chase Face (Brendan Grace was an Irish comedian) Brendan Grace. Example: "Don't forget to wash your Brendan Grace" Faces Airs and Graces Facts Brass Tacks Fag (cigarette) Harry Wragg Fag (cigarette) Oily Rag Fag (cigarette) Toe-Rag Fag (cigarette) Spit 'n a drag. Example: "I'm goin' aht fer a spit" Faggot (homosexual man) Inspector Taggart Fair enough Hairy Muff Fake Ricki Lake Fake Sexton Blake Fanny Jack and Danny Fanny Jackie Danny. Example: "The furry Jackie Danny" Fanny Shereen Nanjiani Farahs (trousers) Bows and Arrows. Example: "Put on me bows and arrers" Fare Grey Mare Farmer Arnold Palmer Fart Mince Tart. Example: "I just baked a mince tart" Fart Raspberry Tart Fart Horse and Cart Favour Cheesey Quaver. Example: "Do us a cheesey quaver." Fax Nails and Tacks Feel Jellied Eel Feel Orange Peel Feet Plates of Meat. Example: "Oi Oi you're Clvin Kein!" Fingers Longers and Lingers Fire Obediah Fire Jeremiah Fire Ave Maria Fire Anna Maria First (especially as in degree result) Geoff Hurst Fish Lilian Gish Fist Oliver Twist Fist (Duke of York = Fork = Fist) Duke of York. Example: "Put your Dukes up" Five Jack's Alive Fiver Pam Shriver Fiver Deep Sea Diver Fiver (£5) Lady Godiva Flares (wide bottom trousers) Lionel Blaire Flash (natty) Harry Dash Flea Jenny Lee Flicks Stevie Nicks. Example: "What's on a the Stevie this week?" Flies Morecombe Wise Floor Rory O'Moore Flower Early Hour Flowers Early Hours Flowers April Showers Fluey Hong Kong Phoey. Example: "I'm feeling all Hong Kong Phoey" Flush Snow and Slush Fly Steak and Kidney Pie Flying Squad Sweeney Todd Food In the Nude Food (nosh) Becks Posh. Example: "I'm right Lee Marvin, think I'll nip out for some Becks Posh" Fork Duke of York Fork Roast Pork Four of a Kind Cheese Rind Fridge Mountain Ridge. Example: "Get us a Richard Gere out of the mountain ridge" Frown James Brown. Example: "You gotta turn that James Brown upside down!" F**k Push in the Truck. Example: "It's been years since I had a push in the truck" F**k Uncle Buck. Example: "I saw my Uncle Buck last night" F**k Donald Duck. Example: "Don't give a Donald Duck mate" F**k Aylsebury Duck. Example: "A Dont Give An Aylesbury Duck M8 !" F**k off Vincent Van Gogh. Example: "I'm gonna do a Vincent now" F****d Friar Tucked. Example: "I was totally Friared after that boozeup" F****d Daffy Ducked. Example: "I need a new car, my old is totally daffy ducked!" Funny Easter Bunny. Example: "You think you're so bloody Easter Bunny" Garage Steve Claridge Gargle (drink) Arthur Scargill Gay Ted Ray Gay Andrew WK. Example: "You're a bit Andrew WK" Gay Darren Day. Example: "You are a bit Darren Day" Gay Peter Kay Gay Bail of Hay. Example: "He's a bit bail of hay" Gay (homosexual) Bale of Hay Geezer Julius Caesar Geezer Fridge Freezer Geezer Lemon Squeezer Geezer Bacardi Breezer. Example: "Awight me old Bacardi" Geezer (bloke) Ice Cream Freezer. Example: "Do you know Phil, the fat ice cream?" Giggles Flight Lieutenant Biggles Gin Vera Lynn Gin Mother's Ruin Gin Needle and Pin Gin Nose and Chin Gin and Tonic Philharmonic Girl Ocean Pearl Girl Twist and Twirl Girl Mother of Pearl Girlfriend Lemon Curd Giro Nightboat To Cairo Git (twit) Strawberry Split Glass Khyber Pass Glass Hackney Marsh Gloves Turtle Doves Go Scapa Flow. Example: "We better scapa!" Goal Sausage Roll Gob (mouth) Gang and Mob Gobble (oral sex) Hat with a Bobble Goggle box (television) Nervo and Know Good Robin Hood Gory God's Glory. Example: "Blimey that film was God's" Gossip Rex Mossop Gout Salmon Trout Gout In and Out Gout Salmon and Trout. Example: "How's your salmon" Gramme Leg of Lamb. Example: "Can I have a leg of that mate?" Grand (£1000) Bag of Sand Grass Ernie Marsh Gravy Army and Navy Greek Bubble and Squeak Greek Bubble and Squeak Grief Omar Sharif Ground Penny A Pound Growler Arthur Fowler Grumble Rhubarb Crumble. Example: "You mustn't Rhubarb" Gullet (throat) Ruud Hullit. Example: "Went straight down my 'Ruud Hullit'" Guts Fruit and Nuts. Example: "I've copped it in the fruit and nuts" Guts (stomach) Newington Butts Gutter Bread and Butter Gym Fat Boy Slim. Example: "Goin' down the Fat Boy Slim" Haddock Fanny Craddock Hair Barnet Fair. Example: "Look at your barnet! Council cut it for yer?" Hair Bonney Fair Hair Tony Blair Haircut Chicker Half (a pint) Cow and Calf Half (an ounce of drugs) Rory McGrath. Example: "Two Henrys make a Rory" Half a dollar Half An Oxford Scholar Half a quid (50p) Cow's calf. Example: "Lend me a cow's calf" Half Inch Pinch Steal Hand St. Martins-Le-Grand Hand Ivory Band Hands Germans Hands Jazz Bands Hands German Bands Hands Jimmy Shands Handy Jack An' Dandy Handy Sugar Candy Hanky Widow Twanky Hansome Marilyn Manson. Example: "Your looking Marilyn Manson today" Harsh Rodney Marsh Harsh Kym Marsh. Example: "That's a bit Kym Marsh" Hat Tit For Tat Hat (tit for tat) Titfer Head Crust of Bread Head Loaf of Bread. Example: "Use yer loaf!" Head Lump of Lead. Example: "Use yer lump!" Head Uncle Ned Head (fellatio) Blood Red Heart Jam Tart Heart Horse and Cart Heart Raspberry Tart Heart Strawberry Tart. Example: "My strawberry only beats for you, treacle" Hell Jimmy Nail Hell Ding Dong Bell Hell Gypsy Nell Hemorrhoids Clement Freuds Hemorrhoids Emma Freuds Hide Duck and Dive Hill Rhubarb Pill Hill Jack and Jill Hole Drum Roll Home Pope in Rome Home Gates of Rome Homosexual Perry Como. Example: "Everyone knows he's a bit of a Perry" Honours Jimmy Connors. Example: "Do the Jimmy Connors, mate" Hooker One Time Looker Horse Bottle of Sauce Horse Charing Cross Hot Peas in the Pot. Example: "Bit peasy in 'ere, innit?" House Rat and Mouse House Mickey Mouse House Cat and Mouse Hump Petrol Pump. Example: "He had the right petrol pump last night" Hump Donald Trump. Example: "Had a Donald Trump in the back of the car" Hurry Bob Murray. Example: "Come on I'm in a Bob Murray" Ice Vincent Price Ice White Mice Jacket Tennis Racquet Jacket Desmond Hackett Jackson Five (five pounds) Jacks. Example: "Lend us a jacks" Jail Rusty Nail Jail Bucket and Pail Jail Ginger Ale Jaw Jackdaw Jean Michell Jarre = Jar = Pint Jean Michell. Example: "Fancy a few Jean Michells later" Jeans Baked Beans Jeans Harpers and Queens Jeans Steve McQueen's Jeans Milton Keynes Jeans Dixie Deans Jesus Christ Cheese and Rice Jew Five To Two Jew Four By Two Jew Four by Two Jewellery Tom Foolery Job Corn On the Cob Job Dog's Knob Jock (a Scottish person) Sweaty Sock Jock (Scot) Sweaty Sock Joke Rum and Coke Joke Egg Yoke Judge Chocolate Fudge Ju

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